Amma's Amma. Grandmother. Ammoomma.
"Muthasshi". That's how I used to call her.
S.SARASWATHY AMMA. Three years passed since her demise and now it coincides with 'mothers' day' ! My grandmother, is also a mother and grandmother to many other people as well. So, it won't be fine to disclose many things that would cross the limits of their privacy without their permission. Yet, on this day, I would like to remember and share few things about her. Since I've got many non Malayali friends, I choose to write this in English. I'll try appending a Malayalam version at the end.
#2015.
NERAM was the last movie, I did watch with my Muthasshi. At first, I thought, she won't get the flow of the film, since it bears a new generation narrative. Grandma, of course was from the world of Prem Nazir, Satyan and few of those vintage movies of Mohanlal and Mammootty as well. She would watch all those vintage Doordarshan Malayalam Serials that appear on TV. I was watching NERAM and thought that she would have fallen asleep behind. Half an hour later, she started asking me about Nazriya's character and to my wonder, I did realize that she was really enjoying the film. No one was there at home and I did increase the volume and we did watch the full movie together. I was wondering that she could enjoy it just as I did. She could move along with the pace of the film. I found her empathizing towards the protagonists of a new generation movie that she had watched with me when she was in her eighties. It was my mistake that I did underestimate her. Probably, none in my family would have known this side of my 'Muthasshi'. She was a genius. Someone who scored around 90% for Mathematics in the SSLC during the late 1940s. That too from an aristocratic feudalist familial structure of Haripad, Alappuzha, in those ages. Myself, couldn't get that 90% for mathematics in 2008. She had a fighter spirit within, which was often overshadowed by the over enthusiastic and dictatorial behavior of my 'Muthasshan'/ grandfather (which I shall write down later). She served and retired as a Govt UP School Hindi teacher, in Kozhikkode. I really don't know how many Brahmin women were allowed to go out and work in those days. She was never ever a feminist. She wasn't a rebel either. She was submissive. She was silent. Sometimes, dangerously silent. She had a submissive ego which was evident in her attitude. It was through her that I had learned many of those bed time stories and 'mantras'. Some kind of cultural infiltration, I would say. It was with her savings, I had done a major part of my education. It was with her support, that many of her sons/daughters/grandsons/granddaughters still find a life. I believe that there was indeed an 'other side' for her which nobody knew. She would absorb things that went around and stays calm and neutral. It had repercussions as well.
Uncompromisingly, she still stands high as a struggler. Someone from a poor, feudalistic and casteist aristocratic family of 1930s, learning for one's self and earning a living not only for her but also for six of her children and the grandchildren thereafter. She was wise on spendings, crucial on words and diligent on thoughts. Many people still believes that she had no interest in world affairs or politics at all. But she too had some interests which was not really evident as that of my Muthasshan. Other than Ramayana/Mahabharatha, it was nice to talk with her on world affairs and science stuffs during certain odd evenings. She had curious interest in Chemistry which many people never knew. I remember me teaching her the 'soap reaction' and 'Biogas model' from my school days. She used to read newspapers regularly. She was a silent supporter of the Congress party and loved Gandhian principles.
Today, as I look back, I could find her remnants in my thoughts and attitude as well. Personally, I don't believe much in hereditary lineage or allied stuffs. Yet, I do believe that I could learn few things from her. Perseverance and patience for example. Subtlety is another quality which I do apply at times as well. Even after decades, I'm sure that she'll remain as a catalyst within our family for sure and there lies women empowerment. The power of an educated woman; The power of an educated mother; The power of an educated, well schooled , working mother. That power is immense and intense. It shines as a moonlight forever ever and ever.
Love you muthasshi. 💚 😍😘😇💐
PS: (നേരം അങ്ങനെയാണ്. ചീത്ത നേരം കഴിഞ്ഞാൽ,
നല്ല നേരം വരും.) 😇
- Rahul Sharma
